Why a tight pelvic floor is NOT the same as a strong one!

pelvic floor Jul 22, 2025

And why "just do more Kegels" might be making your symptoms worse

"A tight pelvic floor is NOT the same as a strong one!"

I say this at least five times a day to students, and honestly? I will literally die on this hill. Because this single misunderstanding is responsible for more failed pelvic floor treatments, worsened symptoms, and frustrated women than almost any other misconception in women's health.

Yet somehow, we've created a culture where "tight" and "strong" are used interchangeably when it comes to pelvic floor muscles. And this confusion is causing real harm.

An Analogy To Help Explain It

Picture this: What if you walked around with your bicep muscle flexed 24/7?

Your arm would be stuck in a permanent bent position. That muscle would be tight, sure, but would it be strong? Would it be functional? Would it be able to perform when you actually needed it to?

Of course not. It would be dysfunctional, painful, and completely unable to work properly. You'd have trouble straightening your arm, trouble lifting things, and probably a lot of secondary pain from compensatory patterns.

This is exactly what happens with an overly tight (hypertonic) pelvic floor.

Just like that permanently flexed bicep, a chronically tight pelvic floor loses its ability to function optimally. It can't generate appropriate force when needed because it's already partially contracted. It can't relax when it should, and it can't coordinate properly with the rest of your core system.

The Strength vs. Tightness Confusion

Here's where the confusion comes from: we've been conditioned to believe that more tension equals more strength. In our fitness-obsessed culture, we often hear messages like "suck in your belly button," "tighten your glutes," and "squeeze that muscle"

But strength isn't about constant tension – it's about the ability to generate appropriate force when needed and completely relax when it's not.

A truly strong muscle can:

Contract powerfully when required
Relax completely when not in use
Coordinate smoothly with other muscles
Adapt its response based on the situation

A tight but dysfunctional muscle:

Remains partially contracted even at rest
Cannot generate additional force when needed
Disrupts coordination with other muscle groups
Creates compensatory patterns throughout the body
Is often painful with the slightest movements

This distinction is crucial for understanding why so many people follow traditional pelvic floor advice without success.

When The Pelvic Floor Won't Let Go:

A hypertonic pelvic floor is essentially a group of muscles that have forgotten how to fully relax. They're stuck in a state of chronic, low-level contraction that creates a multitude of problems throughout your entire pelvic region.

Think of it like a fist that's been clenched so long, it can't open properly anymore. The muscles aren't necessarily weak – they're just unable to access their full range of motion and function.

Signs Your Pelvic Floor Might Be Too Tight:

Painful sex or inability to insert tampons: When your pelvic floor muscles can't relax properly, penetration becomes difficult or painful. This isn't about "not being relaxed enough mentally" – it's about muscles that physically cannot release their tension.

Constipation or feeling like you can't fully empty: Your pelvic floor needs to relax and lengthen for complete bowel movements. When these muscles are chronically tight, they can't get out of the way, making elimination difficult or incomplete.

Frequent urination or sudden urges ("latchkey bladder"): Tight pelvic floor muscles can put pressure on the bladder, leading to frequent urges even when the bladder isn't full. That desperate feeling when you put your key in the door? Often a sign of pelvic floor hypertonicity.

Pelvic pain or pressure: Chronically tight muscles hurt. Just like a tension headache from tight neck muscles, pelvic floor tension can create persistent pain and pressure sensations. Feeling like you have a UTI but there’s no infection present? The burning from a hypertonic pelvic floor can be almost identical to the burning of a UTI!

Lower back or hip pain: Your pelvic floor connects to your hips and influences your lower back through fascial connections. Chronic tension here often shows up as pain in these related areas.

Difficulty starting your urine stream: If your pelvic floor can't properly relax, it may not allow urine flow to begin easily, creating hesitancy or difficulty initiating urination.

Tailbone pain: When the pelvic floor is too tight, it can literally pull the tailbone under. Maybe you had a tailbone injury as a child, but the pain has persisted ever since? The tightness can remain present even long after the initial injury has healed, and just needs to be released.

The "More Kegels" Problem

When someone presents with these symptoms, the standard response is often "your pelvic floor must be weak – do more Kegels."

This is like telling someone with chronically tight neck and shoulders to "just do more overhead presses." You're asking already overworked, tight muscles to work even harder. The result? More tension, more dysfunction, and often worse symptoms.

I've seen countless women who spent months or even years diligently doing their Kegels, only to find their symptoms getting progressively worse. They start to believe their bodies are broken, that pelvic floor therapy "doesn't work for them," or that they're somehow doing the exercises wrong.

The truth is, they were given the wrong exercises for their specific dysfunction.

What Hypertonic Pelvic Floors Actually Need

If you're dealing with an overly tight pelvic floor, you’ll need to learn how to release the pelvic floor FIRST, before you start to strengthen. Because we can’t strengthen a muscle that won’t move (and typically a tight pelvic floor is also weak, NOT strong!)

What these muscles actually need is:

Learning to Release

Before these muscles can function properly, they need to remember how to let go. This often involves specific release techniques, breathing exercises, and sometimes manual therapy to help break the cycle of chronic tension.

Restoring Length

Tight muscles are often shortened muscles. Specific stretches and positions can help restore the normal resting length of these muscle fibers. Which is why stretches like happy baby, childs pose, pigeon, malasana etc are all helpful in this instance - because anytime the knees are pulled into the chest, it puts the pelvic floor in a lengthened position.

Reestablishing Coordination

Once the muscles can relax properly, they need to relearn how to coordinate contraction and relaxation in response to functional demands.

Only Then: Strengthening

Once normal resting tone is restored and the muscles can move through their full range, then strengthening exercises become appropriate and effective.

The Breathing Connection:

One of the most powerful tools for addressing pelvic floor hypertonicity is something you do automatically 20,000 times a day: breathing.

Your pelvic floor and diaphragm are intimately connected. With every inhale, your diaphragm moves down and your pelvic floor should gently lengthen. This natural lengthening with each breath is like a built-in release mechanism.

But when you're chronically stressed, breathing becomes shallow and restricted. Your pelvic floor stops getting those regular release signals, and chronic tension develops.

You might also notice fitness instructors teaching the breath pattern backwards. Yoga teaches it backwards during mula bandha for example. This is for meditation purposes only, and should not be used any other time. Other instructors might be teaching it backwards because they simply don’t know better - I’ll admit, I used to be one of them until I learned just how damaging it can be!

The Stress-Tension Cycle

Understanding why pelvic floors become hypertonic in the first place can help with long-term resolution. Often, chronic pelvic floor tension develops as a protective response to:

Physical trauma (childbirth, surgery, injury)
Emotional stress (your pelvic floor responds to your emotional state)
Chronic pain elsewhere in the body
Poor breathing patterns that disrupt the natural release mechanism
Postural habits that create ongoing tension

Breaking this cycle requires addressing not just the physical tension, but often the underlying factors that created it.

A Mindset Shift

The most profound shift for many of my students comes when they stop thinking about their pelvic floor as something that needs to be "stronger" and start thinking about it as something that needs to be "smarter."

A smart pelvic floor:

Knows when to contract and when to relax
Responds appropriately to different demands
Coordinates seamlessly with breathing and core function
Adapts to emotional and physical stress without getting stuck

This shift in perspective changes everything about how you approach treatment and self-care.

Real pelvic floor strength isn't about how tight you can squeeze these muscles. It's about:

Endurance: Can these muscles maintain appropriate tone throughout a long day without becoming exhausted?

Power: Can they generate quick, strong contractions when you sneeze or laugh?

Coordination: Do they work seamlessly with your breathing, core, and movement patterns?

Adaptability: Can they adjust their response based on what your body needs in the moment?

Recovery: Can they return to normal resting state after being challenged?

A chronically tight pelvic floor fails on most of these measures, despite feeling "engaged" all the time.

The Liberation of Letting Go

One of the most beautiful moments in my practice is when a client who's been struggling with chronic pelvic floor tension finally experiences true release. The relief on their face is profound – not just physical relief, but the emotional relief of finally understanding their body.

"I didn't realize I was holding so much tension there," they often say. "I thought I was supposed to keep everything tight."

This realization is transformative because it shifts the entire relationship with their pelvic floor from one of control and force to one of awareness and cooperation.

The Bottom Line:

Your pelvic floor doesn't need to be tight to be strong. In fact, the ability to completely release might be more important than the ability to forcefully contract.

True strength comes from balance – the dynamic dance between contraction and relaxation, engagement and release, stability and mobility.

When you stop trying to force your pelvic floor with endless kegels and start working with its natural patterns, something beautiful happens: it starts working with you too.

The most powerful pelvic floors aren't the tightest ones – they're the smartest ones. And smart muscles know that sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is let go.

If you've been struggling with pelvic floor symptoms despite doing "all the right exercises," consider this: maybe your pelvic floor doesn't need to get stronger. Maybe it needs to get smarter. And that journey often begins not with more engagement, but with learning the lost art of release.

Ready to explore a different approach? Understanding the difference between tight and strong isn't just academic knowledge – it's the key to unlocking your pelvic floor's true potential. Because when these muscles can both contract powerfully AND release completely, that's when real healing and optimal function become possible.

All of my programs start with pelvic floor release.

The Mama Method is for you if you want comprehensive pelvic floor rehabilitation designed for postpartum recovery, with gentle restorative protocols that respect the real timeline of healing (not the 6-week myth) after pregnancy, birth, or surgery.

The Sync Method is for you if you want pelvic floor rehabilitation that works WITH your menstrual cycle, syncing your workouts and recovery to your natural hormonal fluctuations for optimal results.

The Meno Method is for you if you want pelvic floor rehabilitation tailored to perimenopause and menopause, using progressive strength training that addresses tissue changes through proper sequencing: releasing tension, reconnecting function, then building robust strength.